It’s the first of February, January was possibly the longest month ever!! I’ve already messed up one of my new year resolutions. The M&M’s Chocolate flavour were worth it! The weather is terrible and I’ve finally joined the gym ( yay me!)
You might be thinking who are “they?” “They” are my mum, friends and family who have children of their own. Everybody always describes the good thing about becoming a parent, and forgets to include some of the different changes. In this post I will candidly talk about things that nobody told me about before having Lauren and things to expect as a mummy.
Becoming a mother is one of the best things that has ever happened to me however I wish I knew some of the things I know now!
First things first you will meet a little human that, looks like you but in my case looks like her daddy and they will want everything. No seriously everything you own will become theirs.
Here’s my list of unforgettable things!
- You will share a phone. Lauren goes on Facetime, Youtube and Whatsapp yes whatsapp dribbling on my phone and trying to slide through my photos.
- Having a lie in is a luxury, I used to enjoy afternoon naps and sleeping like I was earning money from it. Now I can barely close my eyes during the day, without Lauren distracting me.
- Your hair may not get done for a while. Before having Lauren, I always used to get my hair done at the hairdressers monthly, now that’s a luxury. I’ve invested in two wigs. The best investments ever!
- I used to spend at least 20 minutes in the shower ( tmi) but now I’ve mastered the art of the super shower. There’s never enough minutes in the day to get things done.
- I’ve also learnt how to do my make- up quicker. No more taking selfies of my face in the light and checking that everything is blended in. Now it has to be done quicker than ever.
- Meal times are messy, which means you will need to clean your clothes and babies at least three times a week. I can put a fresh outfit on Lauren at 8am and change her just before midday. It is what it is.
- Teething is no joke! Your baby may cry and latch onto you for everything. You will need to prepare for the sleepless nights and cold.
- Your baby will have at least three different sets of jabs in their first year. Watching them in pain may be really hard to deal with, and they may get a mini cold. You may not sleep for a while because when baby doesn’t sleep, you don’t.
- Lauren hates sitting in her car seat or pushchair. It’s usually a struggle getting Lauren into the car, but I’m slowly getting the hang of things. Every day is different and I’m learning to be less anxious.
- Cbeebies will be the ONLY channel you can watch. Seriously Lauren has an obsession with Mr Tumble and Tinga Tinga Tales. I can’t watch Scandal or Hollyoaks as I used to, I’m restricted to Teletubbies and Bing.
- The older your baby gets the less they sleep. I remember the good old days, when Lauren would sleep for ages through anything. Now she “cat naps.” I can put her down and creep out of the room, a little movement and I’m running up the stairs like a mad woman.
- Family and friends will forget that you exist. How’s Lauren? Is what I tend to hear a lot. Hi my name is Katrina you knew me before Lauren hehe.
- Food Shopping will be an opportunity for people to stop and coo at your baby. People who wouldn’t necessarily speak to you beforehand are in awe of your baby.
- You will buy a lot of nappies. I can’t count how many nappies Lauren has actually been through, but nappies are super essential.
- Your sitting room will resemble a playgroup. You’ll have toys everywhere!! No matter how many times you may tidy up during the day, the place will get messy. Lauren plays with anything she can reach from my handbag to her own toys, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
- Last but not least nobody told me how much I’d fall in love with my baby. You hear stories about how much mothers love their children, and I used to think “yeah, right.” Having Lauren has made me realise the importance of so many different things. Lauren being the most important.
If other mummies have any things to add to this comical piece, please feel free to comment below. x